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Exes Kody Brown and Meri Brown reflected on their fertility issues — and pregnancy struggle — while looking back at past Sister Wives episodes.

“Retrospectively, I’m really glad we didn’t have more children,” Kody, 54, revealed on the Sunday, December 24, episode of the Sister Wives Special: Look Back, Where We Started. “It wouldn’t have been good for the child because Meri and I weren’t healthy then.”

During Sunday’s episode, Kody and Meri, 52, watched clips from 2012 in which they were optimistic about doing invitro fertilization (IVF) in hopes of expanding their family. The pair previously welcomed their only child, Leon, in July 1995.

“It just freaks me out to go through that again. I want to have another baby. I would love that,” Meri said in the throwback episode. Kody was also on board with the idea at the time, saying, “When we’re dying when we’re 110, we’ll look back and we’ll be glad we did the IVF.”

The former couple, who announced their split in January after more than 30 years together, then watched a clip from 2013. Within that year, they had changed their tune about having more kids — or at least Kody had.

When Meri asked, “Do you want to have another baby with me or do you not?” Kody confessed, “I would do it if it just happened.” He noted that “because of the stakes, I’m not burning in my gut to do it.” At this point, the pair had suffered a miscarriage in the mid-2000s after trying for more than a decade.

“During that time, it was more realization that our marriage is not really healthy,” Kody explained while looking back at the two moments.

Meri had a similar recollection of that period, telling the cameras, “Kody and I were in a slightly tumultuous time.” Despite their ups and downs romantically, Meri shared, “I really wanted to have more than just one,” noting that it took her and Kody five years to have Leon.

Over the years, Meri has spoken out about her fertility issues. In May, she shared an emotional message about her past miscarriage, which happened before she and Kody talked about another round of IVF in the aforementioned clips.

“Today was a travel day for me, and as I was driving through this town tonight, I saw a group of three teenage-looking boys, maybe 15 or 16 years old, walking down the street, hands in pockets, chit chatting away, and I just had to smile and almost sort of giggle to myself,” Meri wrote via Instagram at the time. “It was a fun, and even bittersweet, moment for me, realizing that had my baby survived, he might be engaging in that same sort of teenaged banter, and having those same sort of memorable teenaged moments.”

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While Meri wasn’t sure whether she was expecting a son before the miscarriage, she said her “gut” told her it was a boy. “He’d be 15 now, and I often wonder what life would be like with him here,” she continued. “There’s often a lot of sorrow and pain surrounding that loss, but having that moment of joy today, seeing those boys happy and alive, was healing in a way for me.”

Part 2 of the Sister Wives Special: Look Back, Where We Started airs on TLC Sunday, December 31, at 10 p.m. ET.

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